Wrigs
03-21-2004, 07:23 PM
> The scary thing is that these people are allowed to
> vote.
>
>
>
> ONE.....
>
> Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
> menu that you could have an order
> of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
> dozen nuggets.
> "We don't have
> half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
> counter. "You don't?" I
> replied. "We
> only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So
> I can't order a half dozen
> nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I
> shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
>
> TWO....
>
> I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a
> few items and the lady behind
> me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
> picked up one of those "dividers"
> that they keep by the cash register and placed it
> between our things so they
> wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all
> of my items, she picked up the
> "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so
> she could scan it.
> Not finding
> the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much
> this is?" I said to her
> "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
> today." She said "OK,"
> and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what
> had just happened.
>
> THREE....
>
> A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
> her floppy drive and pulling it
> out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
> doing, she said she was
> shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
> credit card number, so she was
> using the ATM "thingy."
>
> FOUR....
>
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
> beside her car. "Do you need some
> help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
> replaced the battery to this
> remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
> Do you think they
> (pointing to
> a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
> fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do
> you have an alarm, too?" I asked."No, just this
> remote thingy," she
> answered,
> handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the
> key and manually
> unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and
> check about the batteries.
> It's a long walk."
>
> FIVE....
>
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
> swift. One day she
> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm
> almost out of typing paper.
> What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
> secretary told her. With that,
> the intern took her last remaining blank piece o
> paper, put it on the photocopier
> and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
>
> SIX....
>
> I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
> motor home was towed into the
> garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
> repair and the
> whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
> the manager what had
> happened. He told me that the driver had set the
> "cruise control" and
> then went in the back to make a sandwich.
>
> SEVEN....
>
> My neighbor works in the operations department in
> the central office of a large
> bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
> problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
> one of the branch banks who had
> this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back
> of my terminal.
> Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
>
> EIGHT....
>
> Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
> placing a metal colander on his
> head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
> machine. The message
> "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
> copy button each time they
> thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
> Believing the "lie
> detector"was working, the suspect confessed.
>
> ......Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid.
> vote.
>
>
>
> ONE.....
>
> Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the
> menu that you could have an order
> of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half
> dozen nuggets.
> "We don't have
> half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the
> counter. "You don't?" I
> replied. "We
> only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So
> I can't order a half dozen
> nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I
> shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
>
> TWO....
>
> I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a
> few items and the lady behind
> me put her things on the belt close to mine. I
> picked up one of those "dividers"
> that they keep by the cash register and placed it
> between our things so they
> wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all
> of my items, she picked up the
> "divider," looking it all over for the bar code so
> she could scan it.
> Not finding
> the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much
> this is?" I said to her
> "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
> today." She said "OK,"
> and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what
> had just happened.
>
> THREE....
>
> A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
> her floppy drive and pulling it
> out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was
> doing, she said she was
> shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
> credit card number, so she was
> using the ATM "thingy."
>
> FOUR....
>
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
> beside her car. "Do you need some
> help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
> replaced the battery to this
> remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car.
> Do you think they
> (pointing to
> a distant convenience store) would have a battery to
> fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do
> you have an alarm, too?" I asked."No, just this
> remote thingy," she
> answered,
> handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the
> key and manually
> unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and
> check about the batteries.
> It's a long walk."
>
> FIVE....
>
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
> swift. One day she
> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm
> almost out of typing paper.
> What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the
> secretary told her. With that,
> the intern took her last remaining blank piece o
> paper, put it on the photocopier
> and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
>
> SIX....
>
> I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
> motor home was towed into the
> garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
> repair and the
> whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked
> the manager what had
> happened. He told me that the driver had set the
> "cruise control" and
> then went in the back to make a sandwich.
>
> SEVEN....
>
> My neighbor works in the operations department in
> the central office of a large
> bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
> problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
> one of the branch banks who had
> this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back
> of my terminal.
> Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
>
> EIGHT....
>
> Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by
> placing a metal colander on his
> head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
> machine. The message
> "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
> copy button each time they
> thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
> Believing the "lie
> detector"was working, the suspect confessed.
>
> ......Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid.